so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
