No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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