GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
