Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
