Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
