Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
