she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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