he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
