It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
