If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He better not be in your backpack
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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