Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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