im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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