I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize