You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
