No stitches, just platelets and will power
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize