Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
