is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And then my night got REAL pukey
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
