So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
