I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
