her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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