I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
