No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
