playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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