Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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