3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
