the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
