My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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