If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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