We're like a lot better than the average bears
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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