haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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