Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
