**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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