I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize