I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
