is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
