Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize