S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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