So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
