I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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