Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I love having hate sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
