I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
as a side note pls kill me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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