Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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