do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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