I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize