Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I touched a dick in church today
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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