Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
