Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
