New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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