I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
