Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
