ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
