Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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