Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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