I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
