i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
