I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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