you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
