I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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