I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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