So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
